Understanding Generational Trauma in First-Gen Professionals

Do you ever feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders even though you cannot recall a specific traumatic event that spurred those feelings? Like you need to appease others in order to be loved, accepted or seen? Or, maybe you find it difficult to express your emotions and let others in, though you may not have been hurt by someone to the point that you withdraw from others. These symptoms, amongst many others which will be mentioned later in the blog, can be signs of intergenerational trauma-trauma that may not be your own, but that of your ancestors that have been unaddressed that may cause you to feel residual symptoms.

First-generation professionals are a particularly vulnerable population to this generational cycle, so let’s talk about why.

Who Are First-Gen Professionals?

A first-gen professional is someone who’s the first in their immediate family to build a career in a professional or white-collar field. That might mean being the first to graduate from college, work in a corporate or clinical setting, or navigate careers that require advanced degrees or specialized training.

But being first-gen isn’t just about career milestones—it often comes with an invisible emotional load. Many first-gen professionals come from families where hard work was survival, not a stepping stone. They may be the first to figure out financial aid, job interviews, or how to advocate for themselves in spaces that weren’t built with them in mind.

For many BIPOC individuals, being a first-gen professional often means:

• Being the first to navigate systems like college, corporate jobs, or graduate school without family guidance.

• Managing cultural or family expectations while pursuing paths that may be unfamiliar or even misunderstood at home.

• Balancing success and survival, often supporting family financially or emotionally while also trying to grow personally and professionally.

• Feeling the pressure to “make it” while carrying the weight of generational sacrifices.

For BIPOC and immigrant communities, being first-gen can also mean walking a tightrope: trying to honor your roots while navigating environments that expect you to assimilate. You might be supporting family back home, translating documents, or helping younger siblings while managing your own stress, imposter syndrome, or burnout. It's a balancing act—one that takes resilience, but can also be deeply isolating.

What Is Generational Trauma?

Generational trauma-sometimes called intergenerational or transgenerational trauma-is what happens when the effects of trauma get passed down from one generation to the next. This might stem from a parent or grandparent who experienced Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs), which can deeply shape how they show up in relationships—especially in parenting.

Examples of ACEs:

1. Abuse

   1. Physical abuse

   2. Emotional abuse

   3. Sexual abuse

2. Neglect

   1. Physical neglect (e.g., not having enough food, clean clothes, or medical care)

   2. Emotional neglect (e.g., feeling unloved, unsupported, or unsafe emotionally)

3. Household Dysfunction

   1. Growing up with a caregiver who struggles with substance use

   2. Living with someone with a serious mental illness

   3. Witnessing domestic violence (especially against a parent or caregiver)

   4. Having an incarcerated family member

   5. Separation or divorce of parents

4. Other Common Traumas

   1. Experiencing racism or discrimination

   2. Living in foster care or frequently changing homes

   3. Exposure to community violence

   4. Immigration-related trauma (e.g., family separation, fear of deportation)

   5. Chronic poverty or housing instability

Research has shown that descendants of refugees, Holocaust survivors, and other communities impacted by mass trauma often carry emotional wounds tied to those experiences. For Black communities in particular, the lasting impacts of slavery, segregation, and ongoing racism have created conditions where intergenerational trauma is not just possible—but common. The effects might show up as hypervigilance, anxiety, depression, or feeling like you have to work twice as hard just to be seen as enough.

For first-gen professionals, this can mean subconsciously carrying the stress of what your parents or grandparents went through—like poverty, war, immigration, systemic racism, or surviving in environments where survival came before emotional wellness. It can show up as high-functioning anxiety, guilt over having “more,” people-pleasing, burnout, or the constant pressure to succeed while silently struggling.

10 Signs of Intergenerational Trauma

1. Anxiety and Depression and PTSD/ Complex PTSD

   1. First-generation folx may experience persistent feelings of anxiety, dread, depression, hypervigilance, panic, emotional dysregulation, suicidal thoughts, as well as lack of motivation or enjoyment in things. And there may not be a clear cause because these feelings and behaviors may actually be symptoms of unresolved generational trauma in your family history that you have unfortunately inherited.

2. Dissociation and Depersonalization

1. Feeling disconnected from your emotions and/or your body, especially in times of emotional distress

2. It’s better to live in your mind and or be disconnected from the present moment, than deal with reality.

3. It’s a coping skill that can be useful when used correctly, but in this case, it’s used as a form of escapism.

3. Emotional Numbness

1. Difficulty experiencing and expressing your emotions

2. Probably have not been used to identifying or feeling your emotions due to your upbringing, environment and your mind protecting your from pain

3. Numbness becomes your default when emotionally overwhelmed because if you can’t feel it, there’s no pain, right?

4. Due to past hurts you may find it difficult to be open and vulnerable with others in fear of it being used against you or even fear of being hurt and rejection. This you may default to numbness to protect yourself

4. Difficulty with interpersonal relationships

1. Distrust 

2. Hard form to form intimate relationships.

3. Used to keeping family matters at home so being vulnerable may be difficult.

4. Difficulty identifying emotions so you may cut someone off or have intense conflict when hurt by a friend.

5. Feeling isolated or withdrawn

   1. It may feel easier to be alone so you don’t risk being hurt by others. No one can hurt you if you don’t care about them right? This is also a characteristic of someone who has an avoidant attachment style .

6. Enmeshing Your Identity with Your Parents

   1. Where do they end and you begin? It may difficult to separate your own desires from the expectations of your parents .

   2. You may even find that you have difficulty making your own choices or engaging in activities that don’t aid in making your parents proud.

   3. This can unfortunately lead to resentment towards your parents or caregivers, blaming them for your unhappiness or lack of contentment. Though, at some point, we have to take responsibility to heal our pain and make the right decisions for ourselves.

7. Intense/Unexplained Emotional Reactions

   1. First-gen folx with generational trauma may have been told their reactions seem to be incongruent to the situation. Being called melodramatic or told you are overreacting may be common response, and you may not even know why this happens because you’re reacting to echoes of past traumas.

8. Perfectionism/Imposter Syndrome

   1. Setting almost unattainable standard or expecting to achieve a goal in an unrealistic amount of time

   2. Feeling the need to excel at everything to make your parents or caregivers proud

   3. Nothing is ever enough, no matter what you achieve, what you overcome . There is always another goal to accomplish and the finish line is nowhere in sight.

9. Appeasement/People Pleasing

   1. A trauma response that can be utilized in times of distress, fear, possible rejectjon, or any sense of emotional or physical danger.

   2. It may be a default to appease others in order accepted, loved, seen and appreciated. You may fear that if you don’t please your caregivers, friends or loved ones, you won’t be loved truly.

10. Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms

1. Substance abuse

2. Over-eating especially comfort foods

3. Self-harm

4. Procrastination

5. Risky sexual behavior

6. Restricting food intake

10 Ways to Breaking the Cycle

1. Accept the Trauma & Reclaim Ancestral Wisdom

• Acknowledge the impact of intergenerational trauma in your family and acquire the knowledge of your family history. In order for to disrupt a negative cycle, we have to understand where it came from. It’s probably a cliché, but we truly cannot move forward, if we don’t know how we began.

• While learn about past traumas and/or your family’s mental health history, there has to be a self-awareness within ourselves to accept that this history could already be repeating in your own life. You will probably learn the roots of your own mental health struggles and challenges-things you couldn’t put into words before. This may a create of relief, feeling less alone in your silent struggle.

• Whether it produces positive, negative or indescribable emotions, we must all get to a place of acceptance. Accepting the things we cannot change and having the strength to empower ourselves to take control of the things we can.

2. Healing Through Your Community-Your Village

• The saying “show me your friends, I’ll show who you are” has always been one that I could not disagree with. We are the amalgamation of genetics and our surroundings-including the people in our lives.

• Intentionality must first come with taking a risk-letting someone in. Utilize the share-check method, where gradually share aspects of your life with someone and obey what they do with it. This is a good way to build trust with someone and also weed out people who can potentially do more harm than good.

• Once you know who your ride-or-dies are, utilize them in timed despair and sadness . Allow them to show up for you, in the best way they can, in the same way you would hopefully show up for them.

• Build community through shared experiences-sports, spiritual practices, hobbies, clubs, etc. This macro-level of support only strengthens your sense of resilience.

3. Therapy That Honors Identity

Healing is deeper when your identity is not just accepted, but affirmed.

• Work with therapists who use trauma-informed, anti-oppressive, and culturally responsive approaches (e.g., EMDR + ancestral healing or liberation psychology).

• Use language and metaphors from your cultural background in therapy.

• Explore somatic practices rooted in culture (e.g., yoga from a decolonized lens, Afro-Caribbean dance therapy, or Indigenous mindfulness).

4. Create New Traditions

Healing is not just looking back—it's about choosing what to carry forward.

• Start small: Sunday storytelling dinners, healing playlists with music from your culture, or joy rituals like dancing before work.

• Celebrate your healing milestones with community—your growth heals others, too.

5. Reparenting with Cultural Consciousness

How we speak to ourselves now often echoes how we were spoken to.

• Practice self-compassion in your native or heritage language if it feels safe.

• Interrupt internalized messages (“I have to earn rest,” “I must be perfect to be safe”) and replace them with affirming mantras.

• Offer the next generation more choice, emotional vocabulary, and culturally grounded tools for resilience.

6. Redefine What “Success” Looks Like

Many BIPOC and first-gen folks inherit survival mindsets rooted in hustle and sacrifice.

• Question the inherited belief that productivity = worth.

• Embrace rest and softness as forms of resistance and repair.

• Celebrate milestones that aren't just academic or financial (e.g., setting boundaries, feeling joy, not people-pleasing).

7. Decolonize Mental Health Narratives

Western psychology often pathologizes what are actually adaptive survival strategies.

• Normalize cultural expressions of emotion (e.g., spiritual visions, community mourning, protective silence).

• Understand how behaviors like hyper-independence or perfectionism were shaped by trauma.

• Explore non-Western healing frameworks: Ubuntu, Curanderismo, Indigenous ways of knowing, etc.

8. Give Yourself Permission to Be the “Cycle Breaker”

Breaking the cycle can be lonely, but it’s also powerful.

• Know that healing may cause discomfort or even rejection—but you're not alone.

• Celebrate every small act of transformation: setting a boundary, asking for help, resting.

• Remember: you are not betraying your family by healing—you are honoring them through growth.

9. Break the Silence Without Breaking Connection

Many families avoided talking about trauma to protect future generations—but silence can carry pain.

• Have open conversations about family history, when it feels emotionally safe.

• Use tools like genograms, legacy letters, or narrative therapy to explore and rewrite inherited stories.

• Validate elders’ survival choices while also choosing new paths for yourself.

10. Tell Your Story On Your Terms

Storytelling helps reclaim power, identity, and voice.

• Use journaling, poetry, music, or art to process generational wounds.

• Share your story publicly (if safe), or write letters to your younger self, parents, or ancestors.

• Frame your life not just as trauma recovery—but as legacy building.

This may be a lifelong journey, but that’s okay. Breaking cycles is not easy and we need to give ourselves permission to be imperfect, fallible and make mistakes. There are times when we may regress to old patterns or repeat traumatic responses, but that’s normal. Acknowledge and accept the regression so you can learn from it and move forward.